By John O'Bryan
Someday a prehistoric man picked up a rock and threw it at anything. And the background of guns started. Comedy author and weapon nerd John O'Bryan relays the freaky highlights of man's centuries-old obsession with weaponry. He hilariously explains the mace, the morning celebrity, and the guy catcher, whereas conveying authentic information regarding each one weapon: its background, makes use of, and badass strength. Flipping via history's highlights, readers will know about Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, and the "peaceful" Shaolin clergymen. This final compendium of outstanding guns provides all of the strangely real info certain to galvanize anyone who is ever made a gun with their arms and acknowledged, "PEW-PEW-PEW!"
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Additional info for A History of Weapons: Crossbows, Caltrops, Catapults & Lots of Other Things that Can Seriously Mess You Up
They knew they had to get Assyria before Assyria got them. With so many enemies, the Assyrians had to think outside the sarcophagus. They made damn sure their city walls were twice as fortified as everyone else’s. But more importantly, they developed a system of siege warfare that made everyone else’s walls look like they were made of straw. SO YOU WANT TO SEIZE A FORTIFIED CITY The easiest strategy when attempting to seize a city is the (1) passive siege. All you have to do is amass an army and have them camp outside the opposing city’s walls to show those fuckers you mean business.
It was half war, and half orgy. A “war-gy,” if you will, with the participants alternating between humping and stabbing. The front line of the phalanx was undoubtedly the place you didn’t want to be. For one, you had to be in superhuman shape. Try pushing your couch around the living room for two minutes, and you’ll get an idea of the type of conditioning they maintained. They also had to have balls of steel—if a man went to fight at the front of a phalanx, he knew there was a decent chance he wouldn’t be returning to Athens.
Native Americans carried the atlatl across the Bering Strait during their mass migration. Ancient Europeans used it too, but then abandoned it in favor of the bow thousands of years ago. So when they invaded the New World centuries later, they had long since forgotten about this dart-throwing juggernaut. They were alarmed to see this primitive weapon in action, penetrating the mail armor of their conquistadors. These white old farts quickly decided it was time to write to their kings and request some lessons in the atlatl.
A History of Weapons: Crossbows, Caltrops, Catapults & Lots of Other Things that Can Seriously Mess You Up by John O'Bryan