America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't by Stephen Colbert PDF

By Stephen Colbert

ISBN-10: 1607889706

ISBN-13: 9781607889700

Booklet shop state, within the historical past of mankind there hasn't ever been a better nation than the United States. you may say we're the number one state at being the simplest at greatness.

But as ideal as the US is in each approach, the USA is damaged! And we can't alternate it simply because we're 236 years prior the 30-day go back window. glance around--we don't make something anymore, we've mortgaged our destiny to China, and the Apologist-in-Chief is going on global excursions simply to bow sooner than overseas leaders. Worse, the L.A. 4 Seasons lodge doesn't also have a committed mobilephone button for the Spa. you'll want to dial an extension! the place did we lose our way?!

It's excessive time we restored the US to the greatness it by no means lost!

Luckily, the United States back will singlebookedly pull this state again from the edge. It good points every thing from chapters, to web page numbers, to fonts. protecting subject's starting from healthcare ("I shudder to imagine the place we'd be with no the big variety of prescribed drugs to regard our maladies, comparable to think-shuddering" ) to the economic climate ("Life is giving us lemons, and we're transport them to the chinese language to make our lemon-flavored leadonade" ) to foodstuff ("Feel unfastened to deep fry this book-it's a wealthy resource of fiber" ), Stephen provides the US the dose of fact it must come again heading in the right direction.

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Extra info for America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't

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Von jetzt an mache ich’s immer so. ) DIE MELONE: (schmeckt nach verfaultem Laub, ist vollkommen ungenießbar und spottet der menschlichen Eitelkeit) DR. FEINHOLZ: (versucht sich eine Kugel in den Kopf zu schießen, trifft bedauerlicherweise daneben und lebt weiter) 46 Die Dampfmaschine Das Wetter gehört zu den besonderen Attraktionen unseres schönen Landes. Aber offenbar ist da beim Schöpfungsakt oben etwas daneben gegangen, sonst könnte die Atmosphäre im Sommer nicht zehnmal mehr Feuchtigkeit als Luft enthalten.

FEINHOLZ: Wieso wissen Sie das? ZURIEL: Erfahrung. In den Fingerspitzen. Beim Betasten. Beim Auffangen aus der Luft. Eine Melone, die nicht ganz reif ist, macht »plopp«. Eine Melone, die reif ist, macht »plopp«. DR. FEINHOLZ: Ich verstehe. (Zahlt, schultert die fünf Kilo schwere Melone und tritt den Heimweg an. Die Hitze ist so entsetzlich, daß der Asphalt zu schmelzen beginnt. Dr. Feinholz begreift mit einemmal, warum seine Gattin Elsa immer vergißt, Melonen zu kaufen. Zu Hause angelangt, versteckt er die Melone im Eisschrank.

Nur ein einziges Mal, 1977, war es genauso heiß und genauso feucht. Allerdings in Afrika. Afrika. Was für ein sonderbares Wort. Meine Zunge versuchte es nachzuformen, war aber zu schwerfällig. Afri-ka. Was soll das? A-f-r-i-k-a. « »Afrika«, flüsterte sie. »Arfika …« Jawohl, sie hat »Arfika« gesagt, ganz deutlich. Vielleicht ist das sogar richtig. Arfika. Warum nicht? Mir soll’s 35 gleich sein. Mir ist alles gleich. Schon seit Tagen. Schon seit Beginn dieser noch nicht dagewesenen Hitzewelle sitze oder liege ich, genauer: bleibe ich sitzen oder liegen, wo ich gerade hinsinke, und habe keinen anderen Wunsch, als mich nicht zu bewegen.

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America Again: Re-becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't by Stephen Colbert

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